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Janitor's Justice

Marathon man with sex toys seeks girlfriend

by Jackson on 03/21/11

Pro tip: If you allegedly steal a box of sex toys, don't show them to your ex-girlfriend because she might call the cops.

 

That's what happened in the Middle Keys, the Monroe County Sheriff's Office says. And it led to the Sunday arrest of Mitchell Tice, 30, of Marathon, charged with criminal mischief, burglary and theft.

 

An agency report says the toys were stolen from a utility trailer at Banana Bay Resort and Marina between the night of Jan. 10 and the morning of the 11th. While investigating, Detective Mark Maison and deputies Trevor Wirth and Kim Trullender interviewed guests and employees -- including Tice, who's a cook at the resort's restaurant. He reportedly told investigators he didn't see anything out of the ordinary at the trailer.

 

Then on Feb. 12, Tice's ex called the Sheriff's Office to report that Tice brought home a bag of sex toys, and that Tice reportedly said he got them from the trailer. The toys were shown to the trailer's owner, who confirmed they are his, the report says.

 

Tice was arrested after a warrant was obtained, and the toys were returned to their owner.

According to this week's TIME magazine:

by Jackson on 03/13/11

It's a parlor game in publishing circles to guess how long it will take for e-books to constitute a majority of books sold in the U.S. New figures show the answer is soon. The Association of American Publishers has announced growth of 164% in e-book sales from 2009 to 2010--to a total of $441 million in revenue for last year. Some individual publishers have seen even faster growth; Penguin announced that e-book sales nearly tripled in 2010. They still represent only 9% of the book market and 10% of its profits. But with the growth of e-readers like the Kindle and the Nook, those figures will undoubtedly jump. Studies show that consumers with such devices read 2 out of 3 books in digital form.

Another Keys Arrest

by Jackson on 03/12/11

A Big Pine Key man who started stripping in the Key West Kmart learned that if you mess with Liquid Lightning, you can get burned.

That's what happened Monday, Key West police say, when Jakeb Andrew Arnott, 21, tried to steal the drain cleaner by transferring some of it from the packaged bottle to an empty water bottle, then attempted to steal away unnoticed.

What he didn't count on was the Liquid Lightning burning through the water bottle and the bag containing it.

He told police officer Jose Fernandez: "While he was inside Kmart he felt a burning sensation on his right leg and noticed that smoke was coming from within his red bag.... He told me he began to panic and that's when he started to remove his clothing due to the fact that he thought his clothes [were] on fire."

Arnott started taking off his shirt and pants, but walked out of Kmart before going full Monty. He left the bag inside the store and that's when Kmart staff called authorities. The bag was smoldering and they feared fire.

Fernandez found the suspect a short time later, in pain, in the Searstown parking lot. He "began to complain that his right leg felt as if it was burning up," so paramedics were called. Arnott was treated, then charged with petty theft and taken to jail.

Border on Board

by Jackson on 03/04/11

Borders books announced today a brilliant plan to get out of bankruptcy. They are now carrying my book Janitor's Justice. Warren Buffett called the idea extremely smart and is thinking of buying the company. 

Will the Judge Lower the Hammer?

by Jackson on 03/01/11

A 60-year-old Stock Island woman is in jail after she hit her 18-year-old son with a hammer in an argument over a sandwich. The son said he and his mother had been arguing over a sandwich. Witnesses said the son had been rude and belligerent to his mother when she asked him not to eat his sandwich in the living room. When he refused to eat elsewhere, she threatened to break his TV and kick him out of the house. She then picked up a hammer and hit him on his left arm. She also hit him with her fists on the head and bit him on his wrist.